End of • 한 시대의 막을 내리다 • an Era
To think I never wanted to teach in my lifetime, it turned out to be the best first profession I could have chosen for myself. The thought of teaching made me look toward other directions whenever it was presented to me, but it seemed to always stay open at the same time. In the very back of my mind. And now I couldn’t imagine myself without the title of Thaovi Teacher, or should I say, taobi teachuh? To say that the last four years was incredible is an understatement. Was it teaching, teaching in Korea, or just Korea? After 4 years, I would say all of it combined.
내 평생 가르치는 일은 하고 싶지 않다고 생각했었는데, 돌아보니 그 선택이 내가 고른 가장 좋은 첫 직업이었던 것 같아요. 가르친다는 생각이 나에게 주어질 때마다 다른 방향으로 눈을 돌리곤 했지만, 동시에 그 생각은 내 마음 속 깊은 곳에 늘 열려 있었던 것 같아요. 이제는 ‘타오비 선생님/쌤’이라는 직함 없이 내 자신을 상상할 수 없을 정도예요. 아니면 ‘타오비 티쳐’라고 해야 할까? 지난 4년은 정말 놀라운 경험이었다고 말하는 건 지나치게 표현한 거예요. 그것이 가르침이었을까, 아니면 한국에서의 가르침이었을까, 아니면 단지 한국일까? 4년이 지난 지금, 저는 이 모든 것이 결합된 결과라고 생각해요.
When I first started teaching, many teachers asked how many years I'd been teaching already. I honestly had no idea what I was doing then but I guess it came naturally to me. But now? I easily have almost perfected teaching English as a foreign language to Korean students. I say 'almost' because I believe that there's always room to be better and to improve. In my work and in life in general. I still remember arriving in Namwon and immediately thinking that I’d try and move out and be in a bigger city since it felt so small. And then especially after I was shown my tiny box apartment too. But Namwon ended up being the most perfect place for me and I wouldn’t have had it any other way.
처음 가르치기 시작했을 때, 많은 선생님들이 내가 몇 년 동안 가르쳤는지 물어봤어요. 그때는 솔직히 내가 뭘 하고 있는지 몰랐지만, 어쩌면 자연스럽게 잘 할 수 있었던 것 같아요. 지금은? 한국 학생들에게 영어를 외국어로 가르치는 일을 거의 완벽하게 할 수 있게 되었어요. ‘거의’ 완벽하다고 말하는 이유는 항상 더 나아질 수 있다고 믿기 때문이에요. 남원에 처음 도착했을 때, 나는 이 작은 도시를 떠나 더 큰 도시로 이사 가야겠다고 생각했었는데, 특히 내 작은 룸을 보면서 그 생각은 점점 더 확실해졌어요. 하지만 결국 남원은 제게 가장 완벽한 장소였고, 저는 그 어떤 다른 곳도 상상할 수 없을 정도로 만족하고 있어요.
As my time has come to an end, I’ve thought back on my life here these last four years a lot. I moved over 4 years ago barely knowing how to say hello or thank you. And as a certified Semi-Korean, title given by my Korean friend, Kim Chanhee, I’m ashamed to say I didn’t even know what kimbap was before I arrived. However, I’m now leaving as my Korean has significantly improved just by listening to those around me with MUCH knowledge about Korean foods and how they should taste, and even be eaten! Shame.
시간이 다가오면서 지난 4년 동안 여기에서의 삶을 많이 돌아봤어. 4년 전, 나는 ‘안녕하세요’와 ‘감사합니다’도 제대로 말할 줄 모르던 상태로 왔고, 내 친구인 김찬희가 준 ‘세미 코리안’이라는 칭호를 받았지. 그런데… 한국에 오기 전에는 김밥이 무엇인지도 몰랐던 사람이었어. 하지만 이제는 한국 음식과 그 맛에 대해 많은 지식을 가진 사람들 주변에서 들으면서 자연스럽게 한국어도 많이 늘었고, 이제 떠나게 됐어요. 좀 아쉽네.
I came to Korea knowing of only one person who I met and became friends with in May of 2021, Ann. We knew of each other when we both lived in Seattle because she is friends with my sister, but we had never met. And now we are friends too! Not in the way where it's like, 'Oh, this is my friend's little sister,' but as actual friends, with a friendship that's separate from my sister's relationship with her, and I couldn't be more thankful for that. I’ve never thought I lived in my sister’s shadow, nor did she ever make me feel that way, but when it comes to meeting people connected to my sister it has always felt like I’m just “QuynhAnh’s little sister” and not as me, Thaovi. So I’m really thankful to Ann for never making me feel that way. (Thanks Ann, u didn’t know but now u know).
한국에 오기 전, 제가 아는 사람은 단 한 명뿐이었어요. 그 사람은 2021년 5월에 만난 Ann이었어요. 우리는 시애틀에 살 때 서로 알았지만, 저는 Ann이 제 언니와 친구라는 사실만 알고 있었고, 실제로 만난 적은 없었어요. 이제는 서로 진짜 친구가 되었어요! 그리고 그 친구는 ‘이 사람은 내 친구의 동생’이라는 느낌이 아닌, 제 언니와의 관계와는 독립적인 친구 관계로, 그 점에 대해 정말 감사하게 생각하고 있어요. 나는 언니의 그림자 속에서 살았다고 생각한 적은 없지만, 언니가 나를 그렇게 느끼게 한 적도 없었어요. 그럼에도 불구하고, 언니와 관련된 사람들을 만날 때마다 항상 ‘QuynhAnh언니의 동생’이라고만 여겨져서, 그때마다 마치 진짜 나, Thaovi가 아닌 다른 사람처럼 느껴졌어요. 그래서 Ann이 저를 그런 방식으로 대하지 않아서 정말 감사해요. Ann은 절 진심으로 친구로 대해주었고, 그런 점에서 저는 정말 감사해요. (고마워, Ann! 몰랐겠지만 이제 알겠지?)
I came to Korea not scared, not knowing what to expect, not expecting anything at all honestly. After arriving I was traumatized by my office of education‘s lack of preparation for my arrival but I held off on running away, aka doing a midnight run, since I so clearly remember telling myself, “Thaovi, you came here to work not to have a lavish life in Korea so let’s just see how work goes before doing anything rash” and I am so incredibly glad I was patient and stayed. I met so many amazing people along the way, from coworkers to other teachers from around the world coming to do what I also came to do, whom many now are my very dear friends. I used to joke, and still do, that I only have 2 friends but now I’m leaving with so many friends with so much love around me, near and far.
한국에 올 때, 두려움도 없었고 무엇을 기대해야 할지도 몰랐어요. 사실 아무것도 기대하지 않았어요. 도착한 후에는 제 교육청의 준비 부족에 큰 충격을 받았지만, ‘타오비, 너는 호화로운 삶을 살러 온 게 아니라 일을 하러 왔으니까 급하게 결정을 내리지 말자’고 다짐하면서 그 자리를 지켰어요. 정말 감사하게도 참을성 있게 기다려줘서 너무 행복해요. 그 덕분에 많은 훌륭한 사람들을 만났고, 이들 중 많은 이들이 제 아주 소중한 친구들이 되었어요. 저는 농담 삼아, 여전히 농담이지만, ‘친구가 2명밖에 없다’고 말했었지만, 이제는 사랑하는 친구들이 많이 생겨서 떠날 때 너무 감사한 마음이에요.
In my first couple of years, and especially the first two, I kept being told, ‘You’re so brave,’ but I couldn’t quite understand what that comment truly meant until recently. I moved to Korea when I was 22 and now I’m 27 (omg). As I’ve entered my late 20s, I realized how pivotal of a time your mid 20s are and I’m so glad I spent them in Korea, even more so, Asia. In my mid 20s, I discovered so much about my surroundings, the people I wanted to spend my time with, and, most importantly, myself. As a 22 year old who wasn’t scared to move across the world and told her parents, ‘I’m leaving!’, I thought I knew everything there was to be an adult; how hard could it be? Little did I know I was only just a 2 year old baby adult. Brave sounded like such a dramatic word since I wasn’t scared at the time… at all. I don’t know exactly why I wasn’t scared, but maybe it was because I left America and everyone I loved behind during a time where it was impossible to see them; COVID-19. Looking back at my younger self now, yeah, I would say that I was definitely brave too. Because what the heck is a 22 year old doing moving across the world away from their family and friends??? Are you kidding? That is TERRIFYING. Anyway, I’d like to thank my 22 year old self for being brave because had she not been, I wouldn’t be feeling the way I’m feeling now.
첫 몇 년, 특히 처음 두 년 동안은 ‘너 참 용감하구나’라는 말을 많이 들었어요. 그 말을 진정으로 이해하게 된 건 최근이었어요. 나는 (한국 나이로) 23살에 한국에 왔고, 지금은 28살이에요 (오마이갓). 20대 후반이 되어 보니 20대 중반이 얼마나 중요한 시기인지 알게 됐고, 정말 한국에서 그 시기를 보낸 것에 대해 너무 감사해요. 23살 때, 나는 세상에 무엇이든 할 수 있을 거라고 생각했어요. ‘성인으로서의 삶’이 얼마나 어려운지 몰랐어요. 그때는 두려움도 없었어요. 왜 그런지 모르겠지만, 아마 코로나19 때문에 미국을 떠나면서 아무것도 두렵지 않았던 것 같아요. 돌이켜보니, 네, 나도 23살의 나를 칭찬하고 싶어요. 가족과 친구들을 떠나면서 23살이 할 수 있었던 용기는 정말 대단했다고 생각해요. 정말 무섭고, 두려운 일이었어요. 그런데 그 덕분에 지금의 내가 있을 수 있게 되었어요.
I’m writing this on my notes app in my phone as I’m sitting on the plane heading back to Seattle currently. I feel a lot of sadness but also a lot more of gratefulness, gratitude, thankfulness, feeling blessed, beyond lucky, so loved, and feelings I can’t quite describe.
And now I’m leaving with all the love in the world—at least that what it feels like. To move to another country and find the love and support that I found is an indescribable feeling. I’ve never once felt unconditional love from people outside of my family until I moved here. To leave it all behind to start a new challenge in life, since in my heart it felt like it IS my time for change, made it that much more difficult to go. Not only that, but I am leaving a place and so many people who I love so much too. The best thing of all though? Knowing that all the love I found here will still be there for me when I return to visit. And that it’s still here for me, just a little bit further away. I thought that to myself at first because I wanted to believe that what I believe is true, but I think everyone had told me in some way that I’ll always be welcomed with open arms when I come back; that this isn’t, ‘Goodbye,’ but a, ‘See you later.’ Whether it’s in Korea, in Seattle, or on FaceTime (thank god for technology) wherever in the world it may be, I’ll see you all again. You all know who you are.
지금 비행기에서 이 글을 쓰고 있어요. 시애틀로 돌아가는 중이에요. 슬픔도 많이 느끼지만, 감사함, 축복받은 기분, 사랑받는 기분 등 말로 다 표현할 수 없는 감정들이 내 마음 속에 가득 차 있어요. 한국에서 받은 사랑과 지원을 떠나게 되는데, 그 모든 것이 너무 감사해요. 한국에서의 사랑은 언젠가 돌아올 때 나를 여전히 따뜻하게 맞이해 줄 것이라는 믿음도 있어요. 처음에는 ‘그게 사실일까?’라고 생각했지만 많은 사람들이 나에게 언제든지 돌아오면 열린 마음으로 맞이해 줄 거라고 말해줘서 그 믿음이 더 확신을 주었어요. 한국에서든, 시애틀에서든, 페이스타임을 통해서든, 언젠가 다시 만날 수 있을 거라는 믿음이 있어요.
As I was sitting in my aisle seat waiting for my plane to depart, I had my phone in my hand. I probably should have had my phone on airplane mode, it was not (sorry to my pilot). It’s Monday and Mondays mean futsal practice from 6-8pm. However, we mostly always are stretching or just arriving around 6:15–6:30. My flight was supposed to depart at 6:15 but it got delayed by 20 minutes. At 6:20pm, my phone lit up with the words “김양택코치님“ (my coach’s contact in my phone). Last week was going to be the last time I could say goodbye to my coach, but due to an unfortunate accident in Namwon, we couldn’t see each other to say goodbye. My last phone call to my Korean phone number. I picked up and he said my name excitedly and then said he was sorry for not being able to see me. When I replied, “it’s okay” in Korean, tears immediately streamed down my face. The call was only a minute long but it meant a lot more to me than he’ll probably ever know. 양택코치니 넘넘 정말 고마웠어요.
비행기에서 복도 자리에 앉아 기다리던 중, 핸드폰을 손에 들고 있었어요. 아마 비행기 모드로 전화기를 설정해야 했을 텐데…설정하지 않았어요 (파일럿님, 죄송합니다). 월요일이라서 보통 6시에서 8시까지 운동을 하는 날이었어요. 비행기는 6시 15분에 출발할 예정이었지만 20분 지연되었어요. 지난주가 마지막 인사를 할 수 있는 시간일 뻔했지만, 안타깝게도 남원에서 사고로 인사를 하지 못했어요. 6시 20분에 코치님이 내 이름을 부르며 전화를 주셨어요. 코치님은 ‘못 봤어 미안해’라고 말씀하셨어요. “괜찮아요”라고 답하자마자, 갑자기 눈물이 쏟아졌어요. 단 1분의 전화였지만 그 전화는 내게 너무 소중한 시간이었어요. 양택코치님, 정말 고마웠어요.
I thought I could make it the whole flight without crying. If you know anything about mbti’s, better known to Americans as personality types, mine is ENFP with a big fat F. So jokes on me! After 4 years, I’m leaving the life that I built for myself, so of course I’m going to cry, but I don’t think I’ve stopped crying since my coach called me. Truly, and I mean this, because of my coach, I was able to have so many beautiful friendships with so many amazing people in Namwon and I’m forever so grateful to him. At a time where I felt my friendships with people I was meeting in Korea were shattering, he found me and convinced me to join our team and it was probably one of my top 3 best decisions I ever made while living in Korea. However, it’s another reason leaving is harder than I could have ever imagined. Never once did any of my futsal teammates and friends make me feel excluded. Despite my lack of Korean speaking fluency skills, they still took me in and treated me like a real friend on our team and not just a foreigner who was on their team. They always tried their best to make me feel as comfortable as possible. I always heard expats, foreigners living in Korea, online say it was hard to be friends with Koreans but I didn’t seem to have any problems with this at all. Thank you to my team for everything.
비행기 타는 동안 울지 않고 갈 수 있을 거라 생각했는데, ENFP(그것도 F가 큰)인 나에게는 그런 일이 없었어요! 내가 쌓아온 삶을 떠나니 당연히 울게 되죠. 그런데 코치님(김양택 코치님)께서 전화를 주신 이후로, 울음을 멈춘 적이 없어요. 코치님 덕분에 남원에서 많은 아름다운 사람들과 우정을 쌓을 수 있었고, 그에게 정말 감사해요. 한국에서 만난 사람들과의 우정이 힘들어졌을 때, 코치님이 나를 찾아와 풋살 팀에 가입하라고 설득하셨고, 그 결정은 내 인생에서 가장 잘한 결정 중 하나였어요. 떠나는 것이 생각보다 훨씬 더 힘들어요. 한국어 실력이 부족한데도, 풋살 팀원들은 나를 외국인이라고 대하지 않고 진정한 친구처럼 대해주었어요. 그들에게 정말 감사하고, 선데이 모닝 팀에게 감사해요.
Yesterday I had to say goodbye to my two closest friends in Namwon, Lauren and Nondumiso. Everything was wonderful and great and felt like normal up until I started walking away after saying goodbye/see you later. How do some people not cry? Why do I cry so easily? YOH. This, in general, is the first time I’ve ever cried saying goodbye to people outside of my family since I first moved to Korea and honestly, I wasn’t even crying about leaving, there was a different event that happened to happen at the time I was leaving so I cried a lot about that then. The other day my nail girl, Masha, told me that my personality is like the sun and I almost cried after she said THAT. This post is literally just about me crying at this point.
어제는 남원에서 가장 친한 친구인 Lauren과 Nondumiso에게 작별 인사를 했어요. 작별 인사를 한 후에 걸어가는데 눈물이 나더라고요. 어떻게 사람들은 울지 않을 수 있을까? 나는 왜 이렇게 쉽게 우는 걸까? 그동안 한국에 오면서도 작별 인사로 울었던 적은 없었는데, 이번이 처음으로 떠나는 게 아쉬워서 울었어요. 며칠 전에 내 네일 아티스트 마샤가 내 성격이 태양 같다고 말해줬는데, 그 말을 듣고 거의 울 뻔했어요. 이 글은 사실 그냥 내가 울었다는 이야기예요… ㅋㅋ
Anyway, all this to say, in Namwon, The City of Love, I indeed found, not just a little, but a lot of love there. Even when I went to my grocery store to say goodbye to my grocer (also 이모 (my Korean auntie/friend’s mom)), she cried. I was so touched at that because it showed me that she cared about me even though to me, I was just another regular shopper at her grocery store who happens to be friends with her daughter.
어쨌든, 남원, The City of Love에서, 나는 정말 조금이 아니라, 많이 사랑을 찾았어요. 마트에 가서 내 이모(내 친구 엄마)에게 작별 인사를 했을 때, 그 아줌마가 울었어요. 그게 정말 감동적이었어요. 왜냐면 나한테는 그냥 평범한 마트 손님일 뿐이었는데, 그 아줌마가 나를 걱정해 준다는 게 느껴졌거든요.
I’m not the same girl who left in 2021 so when I make my return to America, people can’t be too surprised right? At least I hope that people at home don’t expect me to be the same. I’ve grown significantly as a person, unfortunately not physically though, fought many battles alone but learned to lean on others when I need it, I’d like to think I think more introspectively too but still working on that one even more, traveled a lot of Asia, can confidently say my spice tolerance has significantly increased, and scored lots of goals too!
2021년에 떠났던 그 나랑 지금의 나는 달라요. 그래서 내가 미국에 돌아가면 사람들이 너무 놀라지 않겠죠? 적어도 집에서는 내가 똑같을 거라고 기대하지 않았으면 좋겠어요. 나는 많이 성장한 사람이에요, 안타깝게도 몸은 안 자랐지만, 많은 어려움을 혼자 겪었고, 이제는 필요할 땐 다른 사람한테 기대는 법을 배웠어요. 난 요즘 더 많은 자기 성찰을 하고 있는데, 아직 더 많이 해야 할 것 같아요. 매운 음식도 잘 먹게 되었고, 아시아도 많이 여행했으며, 풋살에서도 많은 골을 넣었어요!
One of my friends told me, “you did more in Namwon in 4 years than I did in [home country] my whole life.” And yes, I certainly did do a lot. I traveled all over Korea, totaling 47 cities and towns all across Korea including my Korea hometown, Namwon. I visited 9 different Asian countries, and even went all the way to The Middle East! I joined a futsal team. I played volleyball each year with my schools in a tournament. I taught over a thousand students from third grade elementary to third grade middle school (9th grade). I TAUGHT. I even remembered maybe 90% of their names each year and met with around 450-500 students each year. I truly built a beautiful life here and this was my most beautiful era in life thus far. I can’t believe I’m leaving but I know that it’s time for me to make a mark elsewhere now.
내 친구 중 한 명이 ‘너는 남원에서 4년 동안 내가 [그녀가 고향]에서 살아온 것보다 더 많은 일을 했어’라고 말했어요. 맞아요… 나 정말 많이 했어요. 나는 한국의 47개 도시와 군을 다녔고, 그 중엔 내 고향인 남원도 포함돼요. 9개 아시아 나라를 여행했고, 심지어 중동까지 갔어요! 풋살 팀에도 가입했어요. 매년 학교에서 배구 대회에도 참가했어요. 초등학교 3학년부터 중학교 3학년까지 천 명이 넘는 학생들을 가르쳤어요. 매년 학생들의 이름을 90% 정도 기억할 수 있었고, 매년 450-500명 정도의 아이들을 가르쳤어요. 진짜 여기서 아름다운 삶을 만들었고, 이 시기는 내 인생에서 가장 아름다운 시절이었어요. 내가 떠난다는 게 믿기지 않지만, 이제 다른 곳에서 나만의 흔적을 남길 때가 된 것 같아요.
A lot of empty holes in my heart that I didn’t realize I had were healed here. Of course, as any life is, it’s not always rainbows and butterflies but I will say that my rainbows and butterflies here in Korea definitely outweighed all of my heavy downpour rains that I had while I was living there. Oftentimes we feel sadness even deeper and longer since it feels more heavy than happiness and we think it’ll last forever, but it’s always temporary. That’s something I learned here. And I know I’m just speaking from my own experience so I hope that those who are reading this who experience sadness in a different way, that you’ll find comfort in knowing whatever it is that you’re going through too shall pass.
내가 몰랐던 마음속의 빈 구멍들이 여기서 치유됐어요. 물론, 어떤 인생이 그렇듯 항상 무지개와 나비만 있는 건 아니지만, 한국에서의 내 무지개와 나비들은 내가 여기 살면서 겪었던 폭우 같은 힘든 날들을 확실히 이겨냈어요. 우리는 종종 슬픔을 더 깊고 길게 느낄 때가 많아요. 행복보다 더 무겁게 느껴져서 그 슬픔이 영원할 것 같다고 느낄 때가 많아요. 하지만 그건 항상 일시적이에요. 그게 내가 여기서 배운 거예요. 그리고 나는 그냥 내 경험에서 말하는 거라, 이 블로그를 읽고 있는 사람들이 슬픔을 다른 방식으로 겪고 있더라도, 너희도 지금 겪고 있는 일이 결국 지나갈 거라는 걸 알고 위로를 얻기를 바래요.
I’m going to journal the rest of my thoughts for my personal and future self, so for now, this is the end of my blog. The end to my most beautiful era in life so far. Here’s to the next chapter of my life! Please send all your positive vibes as I navigate my new life here in America as a baby adult who grew up in Asia. Thank you all for following along if you stayed with me until now. Back in 2021, my parents tried bribing me with a brand new car if I didn’t leave but I chose to go and it was my best decision in life; moving to Korea.
내 생각은 나만의 일기장에 남길 거라서, 지금은 내 블로그의 끝을 맺을 거예요. 지금까지 내 인생에서 가장 아름다운 시절의 끝이기도 해요. 이제 내 인생의 다음 장으로 나아가자! 이제 미국에서 아시아에서 자란 아기 어른으로서 새 삶을 시작하니까, 모두의 긍정적인 에너지를 보내주세요. 지금까지 나와 함께해준 사람들 정말 고마워요. 2021년에 부모님이 내가 떠나지 않으면 새 차를 사준다며 나를 유혹했지만, 나는 떠나기로 선택했고 그건 내 인생에서 최고의 결정이었어요. 한국으로 이사 온 거 정말 잘한 결정이었어요. ♡
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THANK YOU CREDITS TO THOSE WHO MADE MY LIFE A SUCCESS IN KOREA: / 내 인생을 한국에서 성공으로 이끈 모든 이들에게 감사드립니다;
I’d like to end this blog by thanking my parents for never forcing decisions on me, always supporting me even if it meant they wouldn’t get to see me as much (even though I know deep down they wanted me to stay), and helping me pack to move back home. My sister for always vocalizing her support and loving me and my life in Korea, for visiting multiple times and staying with me for even as long as 3 months — she really got to see my life up close more than anyone else back at home. My brothers for seeing how happy I was living in Korea which helped me make my decision to stay a fourth year. My “foreign” friends I made in Korea that stuck by my side and rooted for me since the days we met, Sylvia, Jane, Lydia, Ann, Maya, Mary, Kalei, Lauren, Miso and Dani. Rocio, too, although we met in college, she lived in Korea for 3 of the years I did and supported me a lot too. 지은 (Jee Eun) for being the first person I ever felt unconditional love from outside of my family and always making sure that I’m thinking of myself first; not only was she just my coworker, but my Korean mom and friend. 태훈 & 유경 (Taehoon and Yukyung) for being my first true Korean friends and always making time to see me and spend time together despite being as busy as me with their travels. All the lunch ladies at every single school I ever worked at for feeding me (a lot too), Korean food has become like real 집밥 (like mom’s food but Korean) for me. One of my coteacher’s from my first year, 진두성 (Jin), for helping me search for my apartment that I lived in the last three years so I could actually love my physical home and always making sure I was settling into my Korea life okay. My landlord, 이정규, for being simply the best landlord I’ve ever had (and I’ve had 4 total)—any time I had an issue at my apartment, he would help within the hour, he kept my rent the same price all 3 years despite raising everyone else’s rent, paid for my last month’s utility bill for me just because AND let me stay an extra 5 nights after my housing contract expired (because ain’t no WAY this will ever happen in America for me). 김지현 (Jihyeon), for getting me through the year in Korea—it was a time. My nail girl, 마샤 (Masha), for always having the best designs and doing the best job with my nails every month and being a friend to me too. 마트타운’s best employee, my 이모, 김경미 also 우희엄마. My dermatologist, 박현호 (Park Hyunho), for saving my skin during my first year breakouts and continuously caring about me and remembering every little detail I ever told him whenever I come for my next visits. My Seoul hairdresser, 태근 (Taegeun), for always making my hair prettier than it was before and always treating me so kindly. My futsal coach, 김양택, for introducing me to all of these amazing women in my life now. The best futsal team, Sunday Morning (and friends + former teammates), 경혜언니, 가현언니, 유진언니, 수혜언니, 수연언니, 보금언니, 다은, 태연, 우희, 찬희, 해솔, 가윤, 해인, 수정, 서연, 은영, 민송, 은지, 유빈, 세영, 선영, 주희언니, 주연, 수진언니, 선한이, 민주, 승희, 재윤언니… All my Korean English coteachers ever, 김하영, 진두성, 김지현, 이은숙, 박지은, 박미라, 박세빈, 이인아, 김리화, 조미성, 김화령. All of my schools and everyone I worked with in Korea (trying to remember all names, but these people especially), 남원초: 김하영, 박지은, 김승기, 김산, 이수현, 정지영, 유재춘, 운겸, 현숙쌤, 광식, 방승현, 양승현, 이승현, 문현미, 황병석교장쌤, 정진, 강수연, 유지우, 김예지, 황도영, 송아롬, 예빈, 송화담, 실장님, 원성재, 동현, 종식,,, 교룡초: 진두성, 박미라, 박세빈, 이인아, 이태훈, 이찬희, 최선희, 주은희, 최은숙, 심중보, 송가현, 전효준, 이민국, 백승인, 이춘숙, 김태현, 정수현교감쌤, 진정숙, 배민수, 윤경쌤,,, 용성초, 금지중,,, 용북중: 조미성, 지원쌤, 체육쌤, 보건쌤,,, 아영중: 김화령, 승미, 영후, 박찬기, 하경, 가윤, 혜연쌤, 상준, 민정, 진희쌤, 은혜쌤, 수진. Thank you to all of my students, there are way too many to name, but if you ever see this, you know who you are—thank you for giving me the chance to learn with you and teach you. It was truly my honor to have taught some of the most amazing kids I’ve ever encountered in life. I’d also like to thank my dear friend, Griffen, for helping me create this blog to keep everyone updated with my life in Korea, supporting me and taking time off to visit me — that was one of my most memorable visits for sure. And of course, thank you to Namwon for being the best home in Korea for me, I cried and laughed a lot here but Namwon was a place that always gave me so much comfort and love. I hope I remembered everyone’s names… Thank you.
Finally, I’d like to thank my younger self for having the courage, not being afraid, being so carefree and being brave enough to seize this opportunity for myself to experiences these once (maybe haha) in a lifetime opportunity. I really did that!!!!! I think I lived really well these last four years, took advantage of every opportunity to travel, left my comfort zone an infinite amount of times to create my own community, and so much more. Many of my friends here in Korea had said they are proud of me which made me feel really good. I’m so proud of myself, too!! I’ve become better, a better person, someone who is even more sure of herself and my world view lens is even wider than before and I’m so happy about that. I can’t believe I’m back in America haha. To my next chapter in life! ♡
이 블로그를 끝으로, 한국에서의 마지막 시절을 기록해요. 이제 미국으로 돌아가 새로운 장을 시작하려고 해요. 고마운 분들이 많아요. 부모님, 항상 나를 지지해주신 가족들, 친구들, 선생님들, 코치님, 그리고 선데이 모닝 팀 모두에게 진심으로 감사드려요. 나의 이야기를 듣고 함께해 준 모든 분들께 감사드려요, 그동안 정말 많은 사랑을 주셔서 감사합니다. 새로운 장을 시작하는 나에게는 긍정적인 에너지와 응원을 보내주세요. 이 모든 경험을 통해 내가 얼마나 성장했는지 느끼며, 이 경험이 내 삶을 더욱 풍요롭게 만들어 주었어요. 다시 한 번, 감사합니다.
And to those who were wondering how long I cried, probably one hour total, 4 if you include the breaks in between crying HAHAHA. THAT’S LIKE HALF OF MY FLIGHT BUT I’M OKAY—REALLY SEE YOU LATER EVERYONE, IT HAD TO BE DONE. I’m just a girl and a crier forever. 완정 F야… ㅋㅋㅋ
그리고 얼마나 울었는지 궁금해하는 사람들, 아마 총 1시간 정도, 쉬는 시간까지 합치면 4시간 정도 울었어 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ. 그게 내 비행 시간의 절반인데 괜찮아… 진짜 나중에 봐용, 이건 해야만 했어. 난 그냥 울보인 여자일 뿐이야. 완전 F야… ㅋㅋㅋ
Xoxo, Thaovi / 타오비.
And if you've made it this far into my last post here are, what was supposed to be 10, but 12 of my favorite moments and things in the last four years I spent in Korea in no particular order (I'm excluding all moments with my friends because I always had the best time with everyone that I mentioned above for real - they were my chosen family in Korea♡).
그리고 만약 이 글을 끝까지 읽었다면, 원래 10개를 쓰려고 했지만 결국 12개의 제 좋아하는 순간들과 한국에서 보낸 마지막 4년 동안의 추억들을 순서 없이 소개할게요 (친구들과의 순간들은 제외할게요, 왜냐하면 사실 위에서 언급한 모든 사람들과 항상 최고의 시간을 보냈으니까요 - 그들은 한국에서 제 선택한 가족이었어요♡).
- School lunch. (급식)
- Living alone. (혼자 사는 거)
- Daiso 5 minutes away from my apartment. (내 아파트에서 5분 거리 다이소)
- My second futsal tournament weekend in Boryeong. (보령에서 두 번째 풋살 대회)
- Chunhyang Festivals. All Namwon festivals... (춘향제… 남원의 모든 축제들…)
- After school drives with Jee Eun. (지은이랑 퇴근 후 드라이브)
- Cherry Blossom season in Korea, especially in Namwon on cherry blossom street aka the whole city lining the river in Namwon. (한국의 벚꽃 시즌, 특히 남원 요천 벚꽃길)
- Safety; leaving your belongings on the table and coming back and it's still there? America could never. Can I add being able go on night walks by the river and not feel like I was going to get kidnapped here? (안전함)
- One time one of my students, 민성, asked me if I fly home to America and fly back to Korea to teach them every day. (한 번은 내 학생 민성이가 매일 미국에 갔다가 한국에 와서 수업한다고 물어봤어)
- UGH DO I HAVE TO CHOOSE ONLY ONE MORE???? EVERYTHING. Looking back, no matter how much something made me cry or laugh, they're all reasons why I can be so thankful and grateful for the experience that I had and how I feel about everything now. I fully healed myself when I was and also didn't know I was broken here, so as cliche as it is to say, everything. I loved every moment and each moment made me into who I am now. But if I really have to choose, I fear I have a favorite taxi driver in Namwon, his license plate is either 34바2200 or 2002???? SOMEthING like that, but he always has the best attitutde and is so funny and always makes me laugh. He always remembers me when he picks me up by my apt LOL. 기사님 따봉!!!! 5별 always. His name, unsure but my taxi app says 서*윤 (Seo *Yoon). thx for all the fun rides over the years hahahaha, I definitely taxied more than I should have. (아 이거 진짜 하나만 고르라고? 다. 돌이켜보면, 아무리 울고 웃었던 순간들이 있어도 그 모든 게 내가 지금 이 경험을 얼마나 감사하고 고마워하는지 이유가 되지. 여기서 내가 몰랐던 내가 치유된 거 같아. 진부한 말이겠지만, 다 좋아. 모든 순간이 나를 지금의 나로 만들어줬어. 그래도 하나만 고르라고 하면, 내가 좋아하는 남원 택시 기사님이 있어. 번호판이 34바2200인가 2002인가??? 뭐 그런 느낌인데, 항상 최고로 긍정적이고 웃기고 나를 웃게 만들어줘. 항상 아파트에서 내가 탑승할 때 기억해 줘서 너무 웃겨 ㅋㅋ 기사님 따봉!!!! 5별 항상. 이름은 잘 모르겠지만, 내 택시 앱에 서*윤이라고 적혀 있네. 여러 해 동안 즐거운 택시 타기 고마워 ㅋㅋㅋ, 너무 많이 택시 타긴 했지만)
- omg i can't I'm sorry, but I went to a J-Hope concert in SEOUL. DAY 1. YES I SECURED A TICKET. I failed at getting BLACKPINK tix but I managed J-hope idk either. Also Yet To Come Liveplay in Haeundae, Busan with my sister since we're on the topic of BTS lol. THis is now 12... but we'll pretend it's together. Okay, really, I'm done. (아 미안, 진짜 안 되겠다. 근데 서울에서 J-Hope 콘서트 갔었어. DAY 1. 티켓 잡았지!! BLACKPINK 티켓은 실패했지만, J-Hope는 어떻게든 잡았어. 또, 부산 해운대에서의 BTS ‘Yet To Come’ 라이브플레이도 내 동생이랑 갔었어. BTS 얘기 나왔으니깐ㅋㅋ. 이건 이제 12번인데, 그냥 같이 묶어줄래? 오케이, 진짜 끝)
- Wait also picnics with my Ayoung Middle School teachers and staff. (아 또… 아영 중학교 선생님들과의 피크닉스)
- Last one… maybe this is a given though. GOOD HANSIK, especially in Jeolla region. Seoul don't got nothing on Jeolla food. JAPANESE FOOD IN KOREA, TOO, WOW. (한식… 한국에서 일식도……와우. 서울은 전라도 음식에 비교도 안돼 ㅎㅎ)
Okay, thank you for reading all the way!!! I’m unsure how well these korean translations are, but I hope they were good enough. Okie bye byeeee. And from the bottom of my heart, I love you! 사랑해요 ♡